Dreadful news. I don’t know how to soften the blow, so I will just have to say it straight. No beating about the bush. No prevaricating. No procrastinating. Can’t put it off any longer. Bite the bullet. No point in prolonging the agony and keeping everyone in suspense. The truth must be told.
…and tell it I will.
My sister. Oh, so innocent of face and soft of paw.
My sweet sibling, in whose mouth butter would seemingly never melt.
My sister.
Is into drugs! And I can prove it. Look.
Appalling isn’t it? Where she got this I have no inkling.
But there are some very unscrupulous types in Stoke Newington, who would prey on a young and niaive thing such as she.
I fear she is beyond hope. Look at this glazed expression.
And desperate behaviour
I, of course, shall remain aloof from such things. Cheap thrills are of no interest to me. My resolve will not be broken. As I obviously have much stronger willpower than she.
Mind you. Smells absolutely heavenly. Ooooo, spicy. Mmmmm minty. Nom. Nom.
NOOOO. I shall not succumb. Get thee behind me…
Feste's Lament 