In the light of certain felines’ recent behaviour, a restating of the guidelines is required, vis:
1: Black cats always take precedence
2: Larger and more silkily luxuriant black cats take precedence over smaller, fluffier, less intensely black copycats
3: Smaller, fluffier, less intensely black copycats shall wait on the OTHER side of the flap until expressly invited to try the flap
4: Larger and more silkily luxuriant black cats shall smirk quietly to themselves when smaller, fluffier and less intensely black cats fail to work the flap having been invited, as they do not have the secret code required to do so
5: The flap shall be rigorously and noisily tested between the hours of 05:50 and 07:30, even if it has not yet been unlocked by the (poorly trained and inattentive) staff
6: Large, silkily luxuriant and highly intelligent black cats shall regularly demonstrate the functioning of the adjacent door lock to said poorly trained and inattentive staff, to encourage them to open the door into the garden on demand, thus confirming the superiority of large black cats and their entitlement to special treatment
7: Squirrels, hoverflies and other assorted prey shall NOT be permitted to use the flap unaided, and must wait for a resident cat to give them a lift through the flap in their mouths or (in exceptional circumstances) stuck carefully to a patch of clean fur
8: Any prey (as defined in 7 above) which decides to die, either before or after passing through the flap, shall be abandoned as an offering for staff training in domestic management
9: Any cat with white bits has to get to the back of the queue
10: That means YOU Pipkin
Feste's Lament 